How do you deal with a hostile wife?

Unfortunately for you, there is no easy answer to what you are asking. I read that you and your wife have a newborn - not sure if this is your first one or not, but it doesn’t really matter. From listening to what you are writing, your wife sounds very frustrated, tired and her emotions are just out of control. If she recently gave birth I am sure her hormones are playing havoc with her. I can relate to her feelings and actions. I did and felt the same sorts of things. It was so much easier to dump all the ugliness, rudeness and hostiliity out on my husband. Then afterwards I felt like an absolute bitch for doing and saying those things to him. Then, I’d be mad all over again because he just let me treat him terribly and did not fight back. Looking back now, nothing I did or said made a bit of sense logically. I understand now why he did not fight back - it would have just further enraged me and made the situation worse.

I later found out I was suffering from PPD (postpartum depression). It’s a serious psychological condition that requires immediate treatment. PPD is not the "baby blues." copyright ybarra-cgm

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PPD is serious stuff. Don’t mess around. If she is being agressive, screaming/yelling and thrashing things around, you must get her to her doctor. If she refuses to go, then you take the children and leave. The only way she can see the kid(s) is to visit the doctor first. You need to get the baby away from your wife and have him or her cared for by either of your families or both. Once your wife can have a break, get the hormones in balance and get a good night sleep, (don’t underestimate the value of a good shower), she will begin to feel better. She will need long term follow up support from other Mom’s who have gone through PPD and ongoing medical treatment from her physician. ybarra-cgm.com

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Don’t forget to take care of yourself too. It is easy to get wrapped up in taking care of your wife, your new baby and any other little ones you already have, but "Dad" is the engine that runs the train. No engine - no train! copyright ybarra-cgm

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Also, one other little thing that I am sure your wife will share with you when she’s feeling a bit better. She doesn’t mean all those nasty things she is saying and doing. That is just her hormones making her act like a bitch. It is always easier to be meanest to the ones we love the most.
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